I don't want.
This is a stage where the kid has to rebel at every chance.
Ask her to keep her stuffs, she'd say, "I don't want." Ask her to drink some water, ask her to brush her teeth, I'd get the same answer, "I don't want." The list just goes on. I don't exactly have the best temper and there were many times when I simply flare up and abuse my power as an adult; I yelled, sometimes smack, and I threaten my kid. Not good, and I never failed to feel guilty at bedtime when I see my kid in her most innocent state dozing off to dreamland. She is just a kid, I would say to myself, why flare up? I would whisper countless sorry to her and gave her kisses after kisses, and I'd start blaming myself for being such a bad mother.
On good days, I'd do reasoning with Lia. I try my best to explain on the different situations; like why she should not touch anything when she's watching me cook because the pots and saucepans are very hot and fire burns her hands and it is very very painful. And on good days, Lia listens and oblige.
Come one day when reasoning didn't work, and I have had enough of yelling, this is what I did.
We woke up late at around 11am and I decided to cook udon soup for brunch. Lia was fine as she had paper cutting as an entertainment and I was whipping up our meal in peace. And then the drama comes on when the food is ready and served. Lia refused to clear up her own mess.
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I kept my cool, I offered help and reasoned with her. Ended up I told her off (sternly) that I am not giving her food until she clears up the mess. I had to do something haven't I? Lia refused to budge, I refused to give in too and I sat myself down for my own meal.
Lia started whining for she is very hungry. I kept repeating for her to keep her stuffs and clear up the mess, but still, the stubborn girl said, "I don't want." This went on for like 30 minutes. Whining and crying but still refusing to keep her stuffs.
Can see, cannot eat.
.JPG)
(Lia was holding on to an empty milk carton. I had finished up the milk in one gulp leaving none for her)
I finished my food and I went on to munch on a KitKat. Lia likes chocolates and she couldn't bear it any longer. She wanted my KitKat. I repeated my request, whilst proceeding to finish up my KitKat. She wanted me to stop eating so I could save some for her. I said okay, only if she keeps her stuffs. KitKat worked like magic. Lia meekly cleared up her own mess.
Putting things back onto her bookshelf.
.JPG)
Her meal of udon soup was finished in a good time, and I kept my promise and gave her the KitKat, which I had secretly saved in the fridge when I started out enticing her.
Sounded cruel as I may be, but I am just trying to discipline my kid. I recently found a way, shooting myself with this phrase whenever I feel anger rushing to my head,"you'd regret it definitely!" To curb myself from flaring up at that nick of time when emotions rule my head.
Ask her to keep her stuffs, she'd say, "I don't want." Ask her to drink some water, ask her to brush her teeth, I'd get the same answer, "I don't want." The list just goes on. I don't exactly have the best temper and there were many times when I simply flare up and abuse my power as an adult; I yelled, sometimes smack, and I threaten my kid. Not good, and I never failed to feel guilty at bedtime when I see my kid in her most innocent state dozing off to dreamland. She is just a kid, I would say to myself, why flare up? I would whisper countless sorry to her and gave her kisses after kisses, and I'd start blaming myself for being such a bad mother.
On good days, I'd do reasoning with Lia. I try my best to explain on the different situations; like why she should not touch anything when she's watching me cook because the pots and saucepans are very hot and fire burns her hands and it is very very painful. And on good days, Lia listens and oblige.
Come one day when reasoning didn't work, and I have had enough of yelling, this is what I did.
We woke up late at around 11am and I decided to cook udon soup for brunch. Lia was fine as she had paper cutting as an entertainment and I was whipping up our meal in peace. And then the drama comes on when the food is ready and served. Lia refused to clear up her own mess.
.JPG)
I kept my cool, I offered help and reasoned with her. Ended up I told her off (sternly) that I am not giving her food until she clears up the mess. I had to do something haven't I? Lia refused to budge, I refused to give in too and I sat myself down for my own meal.
Lia started whining for she is very hungry. I kept repeating for her to keep her stuffs and clear up the mess, but still, the stubborn girl said, "I don't want." This went on for like 30 minutes. Whining and crying but still refusing to keep her stuffs.
Can see, cannot eat.
.JPG)
(Lia was holding on to an empty milk carton. I had finished up the milk in one gulp leaving none for her)
I finished my food and I went on to munch on a KitKat. Lia likes chocolates and she couldn't bear it any longer. She wanted my KitKat. I repeated my request, whilst proceeding to finish up my KitKat. She wanted me to stop eating so I could save some for her. I said okay, only if she keeps her stuffs. KitKat worked like magic. Lia meekly cleared up her own mess.
Putting things back onto her bookshelf.
.JPG)
Her meal of udon soup was finished in a good time, and I kept my promise and gave her the KitKat, which I had secretly saved in the fridge when I started out enticing her.
Sounded cruel as I may be, but I am just trying to discipline my kid. I recently found a way, shooting myself with this phrase whenever I feel anger rushing to my head,"you'd regret it definitely!" To curb myself from flaring up at that nick of time when emotions rule my head.
the mommy blogged this at 9:57 PM
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4 Comments:
Hi Gene-at this tender age, it is good that you discipline Lia so that she knows who she should submit or obey. A good start, at least you didn't flare up this time.
I also explain to Grace why she needs to pack up after every play and now, she did it when was told.
Keep it up! You are doing well esp by not getting angry (at times-hard).
elvina is the same as well and i flare up quite often recently simply becoz she refused to pick up when she messed things up on the floor. i used her favorite tidbits to entice her as well... quite "sly" hor.. :p
well done!
Jean,
Grace is such an angel! Thanks, for comforting me. I do agree it is hard at times to control my temper; especially when PMS hits at the same time! But I am determined to try real hard from now. :)
Melissa,
Hehe, I also used titbits, and it usually works too! But come to think, the kid has to know the reason behind it and thus we'll have to go by the book to set things straight. It's so tough! :)
Fantasy,
Hey there, thanks! :)
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