Separation Anxiety
Since the start of school, Lia has became extremely clingy. She kept wanting me to carry her (refused James), and would refuse to sit in her high chair for meals. She would be sitting on my lap for her breakfast and dinner (including lunch over this weekend), as that's quite the only way to get her to eat.
She is also constantly on the lookout for me, and when she doesn't see me soon enough, she would start crying. James, is pretty helpless too for the little one has not called her daddee for days. Instead, she had started going, "ma-ma-ma-ma..." when she badly wants me.
Yesterday, we were back at my parents' place and I was in my bedroom to take a nap. James managed to coax Lia out of the bedroom and as he closed the bedroom door behind him, Lia started whining. Though she's playing with my mom, she refused to let me out of sight, leave the bedroom door open - that is. Just now while at my parents-in-law place, I was eating dinner and Lia was playing with her cousins. James was with them but Lia got up and left the group abruptly and started searching for me. She couldn't see me for I sat in the corner and her eyes were red. I called out to her quickly and that stopped her tears. Then, I went in the bathroom after my dinner. Lia, as usual, started searching for me and this time round, she cried, and pat her chest as she sees me emerging from the bathroom.
Tomorrow's a Monday, again. *Sign... My stress levels' rising, how different that is as compared to the excitment I've felt last Monday.
I am really guilty now, I brought this upon my baby. One more week to go and if she is still unhappy in school, I will take her out of it.
She is also constantly on the lookout for me, and when she doesn't see me soon enough, she would start crying. James, is pretty helpless too for the little one has not called her daddee for days. Instead, she had started going, "ma-ma-ma-ma..." when she badly wants me.
Yesterday, we were back at my parents' place and I was in my bedroom to take a nap. James managed to coax Lia out of the bedroom and as he closed the bedroom door behind him, Lia started whining. Though she's playing with my mom, she refused to let me out of sight, leave the bedroom door open - that is. Just now while at my parents-in-law place, I was eating dinner and Lia was playing with her cousins. James was with them but Lia got up and left the group abruptly and started searching for me. She couldn't see me for I sat in the corner and her eyes were red. I called out to her quickly and that stopped her tears. Then, I went in the bathroom after my dinner. Lia, as usual, started searching for me and this time round, she cried, and pat her chest as she sees me emerging from the bathroom.
Tomorrow's a Monday, again. *Sign... My stress levels' rising, how different that is as compared to the excitment I've felt last Monday.
I am really guilty now, I brought this upon my baby. One more week to go and if she is still unhappy in school, I will take her out of it.
the mommy blogged this at 10:04 PM
9 Comments:
hi,
just read about your entry on your DD starting CC. came in thru the Princess's Diary....
Just want to encourage you....
I send my son to infantcare and he cried 80% of the time when i handed him over to the teacher. This lasted for 1 month. I felt so sad..... The second month, he cried 40%...mostly every monday ...then the third month, about ...10%.....now...he still cried once or twice per couple of months.....but...he is excited to go "school"......btw..he is 15 months now...
He also displayed separation anxiety like what you have described in your entry. but it only lasted for a while cos after a while, he understood that i am not going anywhere...
So...dun give up on Lia and yourself. It may be distressing but Lia will enjoy her friends in time to come.....
Yeah, i agreed with Jamie.
Don't give up yet, Gene. I know it's hard and it pains you to see your little one crying. But believe me, this is just a passing phase, some kids may take longer to adjust but eventually, all the cryings will be gone and Lia will be enjoying herself! :)
*hugs* i know how you feel...i'm still going through with Damien..he cried again last Monday, but he was happy to go to school today..;)
Hang in there! Why not try another method. Since you are not working, if the school allows, do stay as long as possible for your baby to feel comfortable to the environment and understand that it's a nice place to stay. I'm a working mum, so don't have the luxury to stay on too long, therefore decided on the heartless approach for both my kids. It is painful, especially with my girl, who is very attached to me. She just threw her milk bottle this morning to vent her anger at me for leaving. :P
I've seen kids whose parent stayed behind, got adjusted to school life slowly, but steadily.
Gene, I had a chat with my colleague about your entries. Her advise was, do not terrify and scare the little one about schooling. If she is not ready, we can always start slowly by enrolling them into playgroups, or half a day care.
Start slowly...but it is really a step that we have to make sooner or later...U were brave to make the first step...Mine is brewing.
Hi Jamie,
Thanks so much for sharing. Wow, it must have been more difficult for u and ur DS for he started school much younger. And I'm glad to hear dat he's adjusting well!
Lia's teacher told me dat Lia actually likes hanging out with older kids, I am happy to hear this as at least, she is hanging out! That boosted my confidence greatly!
Hi Blurblur,
Just this morning while walking to school, I started dreaming of the day when Lia would smile and wave good-bye to me as I hand her over to the teachers. Don't know when it'll come but guess I'll have to really preserve and be patient. ;)
Thanks for being here for me!
Hi KY,
I have thought of that but the school doesn't really encourage parents to stay after the 1st 3 days and I do understand their point.. Only in our absence can our kid bond with the teacher.
Lia was very fine when I stayed with her for the 1st day. Anyway, it's hard for me to re-appear to console her if she is crying for she gets extremely clingy the moment she sees me, and it is impossible for her teacher to take her again. We would be going round in circles and both of us, we would never let go.. Guess I just have to be heartless here. No turning back either but given a chance, I would put her in later, probably around 2 years old instead of 18.5 months now..
So how long has your daughter been in CC? ;)
Hi Fannie,
Yea, I got some advises like yours too.. But it's too late to turn back now, though like what I just replied KY, if I'd have a chance to redo this, I would start her later... Lia's teacher advised me not to make the switch if I am confirmed going back to work as Lia'd probably be crying for a second time during the transition from half day to full day care. Since she is already in it now, and is getting used to it, we'll just have to move on. There's a boy doing the transition now and he is crying everytimg he wakes up from his nap. I saw. :(
The older kids that started with Lia have quite adapted, they cry lesser at seperation too (tink one or two of them is not crying anymore).. I guess they hv more understanding on the concept of school...
Take ur time, I now see 2 years old a better age to attend CC... ;)
My girl went into daycare immediately once she reached 18 months. The maid was driving me mad, that's a big part why she was in so early. My son went in also around the same age, cos' my mom couldn't help out any longer.
Saw your latest post that Lia started mixing around. :)
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